A Lexicon of Mondays
The Lethargy (noun, [leth-er-jee]) – According to hotwaterbottle716 at www.idontfeelsogreatmaybetheinternetknowswhy.com‘s closed forum on 13th September 2004 at 12h08, a bout of The Lethargy is ‘an anomalous brain activity frequently seen in humans, typically at the beginning of the week’. Lack of energy, throbbing tension, and a nagging sense of boredom are all symptoms linked to the mysterious phenomenon, which are however connected to a variety of other ailments. It’s alleged causes have been identified in the exposure to internet trolling, self-righteous articles of the ’10 ways to live stylishly on half your salary’ sort, and the rapid-fire procession of party and holiday photos on your newsfeed (your friends’ forgivable attempt to self-medicate their own case of The Lethargy).
The Boost (noun, [boost]) – According to the critically acclaimed and internationally lauded site www.limonadier.net, a case of The Boost can be diagnosed by the overwhelming warm and euphoric sensations experienced in the spiritual awakening phase following a sip of Weekly Shot – Groove tonic*. Usually arriving at the beginning of the week in the guise of 10 handpicked groovy tacks, the tonic will simultaneously ground you and lift you to the ether. It’s so effective that all you need is a click of a play button and a pair of good speakers and boom! With noticeably durable and synchronised effects on the pelvis and shoulder movements, the Weekly Shot ultimately leads to a sense of winning, and a generally open-minded disposition towards cyber filth.
*Adverse side-effects: Consumption may lead to a lowering of boundaries, resulting in looking like this guy. It is possible to experience both hits if you watch the above video without sound, whilst flexing to the Groove Tonic full-blast.
The Limonadier endorses and fully supports – emotionally and financially – research into The Boost. So without further ado, we here at the Limo wish you a happy and responsible tasting session. As they say in Thailand : Chai-yo!
And don’t forget to follow us on:
Graphics by SOPHIE OZR